En aparté – Clin d’oeil kashmiri sur l’actualité politique française

Posted: July 31st, 2009 | Author: Alex | Filed under: 10 - Inde | | Comments Off

Il semblerait que les Kashmiris aient leur petite idée sur la cause des derniers troubles de santé dont a été victime notre très cher Président… 

Monsieur President is dead..! par Robert Clements, paru dans le Kashmir Times daté du 29 juillet 2009

« Monsieur President! Monsieur President! Get up! Get up! Oh my God Monsieur President eese dead! Monsieur President eese dead! Aidez-moi! »
« Shut up you fool! I am not dead; I have fainted! »
« Oh my God Monsieur President has fainted! »
« Why are you shooting like this? »
« I am telling the public to get help, you are fainted , you are fainted! »
« Bah I am not fainted, mind your language, I have fainted! »
« Monsieur President has fainted! Monsieur President has fainted! »
« That sounds better, but why are you shouting? »
« To get help! »
« I do not need help! »
« No? »
« No! »
« Then what do you need? »
« Rest! »
« Rest? »
« Yes rest you numbskull, rest, rest, your President needs rest and you by shouting are disturbing me from my rest! My much needed rest! I am so tired, so tired, I just need some rest and you cannot give that to me you numbskull?”
“But Monsieur President, we will get you home…”
“No, nooooo, there is no rest at home, she is there, she is everywhere!”
“Who Monsieur President?”
“She, she, I need rest before I go back to her, and you are spoiling my rest!”
“But you should get rest at home Monsieur President!”
“Silence you idiot! There is no rest at home. She will come to me, rub her hands on my chest and say “Comme il est beau!”, You are so handsome, and I will look at her and say with lust in my eyes, “Qu’est-ce qu’elle est mignonne!”, she is so cute and then, and then like a wild cat she will be on me and I like a young garçon am upon her, but…”
“But what Monsieur President?”
“But I am fifty four years old, and she…”
“And she Monsieur President?”
“She is beautiful!”
“You are very lucky Monsieur President!”
“You fool I am not lucky! I am tired, and when I try to get some rest, I have a fool shouting Monsieur President is dead, Monsieur President is fainted! Quel désastre !”
“I am sorry Monsieur President”
“Bah! Now let me sleep!”
“Monsieur President, but what do I tell the security?”
“Tell them Monsieur President fainted!”
“Monsieur President is fainted! Monsieur President is fainted..!”
“Vive la France and her English Grammar!” whispered Sarkozy as he curled up for a much need rest from his youthful life, there on the jogging track.